


As soon as one is born, one starts dying.

by momotastic



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momotastic/pseuds/momotastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John was sixteen, he received a small, black journal for his birthday. These are a few entries throughout time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As soon as one is born, one starts dying.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Luigi Pirandello's "Henry IV". The plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone and since no one else was going to write this, I simply had to do it myself. Obviously.
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm neither Moffat nor Gatiss nor anyone else involved in the creation or writing of Sherlock. I wish I was, but I'm not. Otherwise I'd team up with Gatiss and Freeman to make Johnlock happen in canon. However, I'm not making any money with this, I borrowed the characters and will return them as soon as I'm done playing.

25th of June 1988

_My parents have told me many times – too many times, actually – about how I almost died as a child. I don’t really remember any of it as I was only a toddler. I had caught pneumonia. Mom and dad were starting to prepare for the worst but then, finally, the fever broke and I was out of the woods._

_I was only three years old._

15th of October 1992

_Last night I could have died. A few friends from med school and I had had a few too many beers at the pub and we started arguing about something - I don’t even remember what it was about anymore. The fight quickly became physical and then one of the guys broke the bottle he had been holding. I still don’t know whether it was intentional or accidental, but he suddenly turned around. I was properly drunk at the time and therefore slow to react._

_He grazed my neck._

_If I had moved any faster or if he had turned more forcefully he would have sliced open my jugular.  
I would have bled out before any ambulance could have reached the pub._

4th of August 2010

_It’s been weeks since I was shot during what was supposed to be a routine patrol. There was a sharp pain in my left shoulder like someone stuck a hot poker in there and twisted it for good measure. Never before have I felt pain like that. I hope I never will again._

_We lost two men that day. Only one other soldier besides me survived. I had a fever and they told me that, during the first few days, it looked like I might not make it. Just like when I was three years old and the fever wouldn’t go down for days._

_In the end, they had managed to patch me up as best as possible. I pulled through and got a large scar on my left shoulder to remember everything by. As if the nightmares weren’t enough. As if anyone could ever forget being shot and close to dying on a battle field._

13th of January 2011

_Yesterday I almost killed myself. I was sitting on my cot-like bed, gun in my mouth. If my phone hadn’t buzzed with a text from Harry right when I was going to pull the trigger I probably would have done it._

_I’m still not entirely sure if my army trained nerves, the ones that prevented me from accidentally firing my gun, are something to be grateful for._

3rd of April 2011

_Moriarty escaped, but thankfully, so did Sherlock and I._

_He had me dressed in a Semtex vest and a sniper pointed at me. When he was close enough, I threw my arms around him and told Sherlock to run._

_Of course the idiot detective wouldn’t run. Of all the moments to start caring he had to chose the one that put him into mortal danger._

_There was another sniper now, targeting Sherlock._

_And of course as soon as Moriarty had left, Sherlock ripped off that damned vest and I thought that everything was going to be fine. And yet again, Moriarty came back after barely a minute filled with relief. There were more snipers now and Sherlock was going to blow up the entire building along with Moriarty and ourselves. I would not have minded that either. I would have died with Sherlock while bringing a criminal mastermind down. What better way to go is there?_

_I would have died with him. Gladly even. I don’t think there’s any point in denying (at least not to myself) that without Sherlock, my life would be useless._

13th of June 2012

_Sherlock fell._


End file.
